I was hoping this blind date would be better than my last one.
That date was over 15 years ago…but I remember it like it was yesterday.
I pulled up to the restaurant and glanced over to see a guy dressed in black jeans, t-shirt and baseball hat getting out of a huge pickup truck.
My attention immediately gravitated to his mullet and handle bar mustache.
I thought to myself, “Nah. That couldn’t possibly be my date. My friend knows he’s totally not my type and would never set me up with someone like that.”
Well…that’s the guy I ended up listening to all night as he talked about heavy equipment, skinning deer and how he was hoping to move out of his mom’s house soon.
I made a vow that night to NEVER go on another blind date again…
…but I had no choice.
After experiencing a huge financial crisis, I felt like my money broke up with me.
My business wasn’t bringing in enough money to pay the bills each month…I was drowning in $87,000 of debt…and I ugly cried every time I looked at my bank account balance.
My money had left me…and my relationship with my money was OVER.
So, I had to get up my courage to start a new relationship with money…
…and this time, I wanted it to be a happy, healthy, steamy love affair…
…because my previous relationship with money was completely TOXIC…a love/hate relationship filled with co-dependency, suspicion and lies.
My old relationship with money made me feel stressed out all the time…scared to think about money or look at my money to see where it was going.
Money always felt complicated, scary and overwhelming…so I avoided my money…ignored my financial issues…and doing so made all my problems worse.
As a couple’s therapist though, I knew it was possible for me to have the kind of relationship I wanted with money…
…a relationship that’s fun, exciting and interesting…
…a money relationship that’s filled with respect, appreciation and making dreams come true.
Filled with optimism and hope that my blind date with money wouldn’t go south like my date with handle-bar mustache guy…
…I pulled into the Starbucks parking lot wearing my favorite perfume and dusty rose lip gloss.
I ordered a grande cinnamon dolce latte (which I paid for with CASH) and sat on the smooth leather corner couch.
As I eagerly waited for my date, I pulled out my laptop and opened up my bank account.
And then it happened…
…I saw my money for the first time…in an entirely new way.
Instead of looking at my money as something out of reach…hard to get…scary…complicated and completely intimidating…
…I decided to look at it like I would look at a romantic partner.
And I approached that blind “money date” like I would a real date…seeing the experience as something fun, exciting and interesting.
As I looked at my bank account balance of $873.45, I didn’t freak out about the $1200 mortgage payment being due next week…I didn’t let that thought even enter my mind.
Instead, I looked at my money and said, “Thank you for showing up today, money. I’m so happy to see you here today.”
That’s how my new relationship with money started…and that blind date with money turned into the steamy love affair I’d always wanted…
…because I stopped thinking about my money in negative ways…
…and started thinking about it with fun, playful, loving eyes.
Money doesn’t have to be stressful, complicated, scary or overwhelming.
It can absolutely be fun, exciting, interesting and flirty…if you choose to see it that way.
This week, try to look at your money like a romantic partner you want to spend time with…love up on…and have fun adventures with.
See your money as a lifelong partner who will share in your hopes and dreams…and help bring them to life.
Past money relationship baggage bringing you down? Aren’t sure how to start a new relationship with money?
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