18 Feb Are You in a Co-Dependent Relationship With Money
I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but I found myself in a co-dependent relationship with money and it almost cost me my entrepreneurial dreams.
Before I started my counseling practice, I was in search of a job.
My husband and I had just moved from Colorado to Pennsylvania and I was waiting around for my clinical license to transfer from state to state.
I knew I wanted to start my own business eventually…but I was 5 months pregnant…bored out of my mind…and wanted to get back to work and make some money for my growing family.
Living in a rural area, jobs in my field were slim pickings…and most of them paid crappy wages…wanted me to be on call…and work ridiculous hours.
But there was one job posting that caught me eye- Temporary Professor of Social Work at the local college.
At that time in my life, this was my dream job staring me in the face!
I always had a passion for teaching and I saw this as my chance.
It was perfect. The temporary position would give me work until I had the baby AND it offered good pay…and awesome benefits.
I immediately applied. And waited…and waited…and waited.
When I couldn’t wait any longer…and no other jobs popped up…I decided to start my private practice and make a job for myself.
I devoted myself to growing my counseling practice and started taking the first steps toward building an online financial therapy business…and didn’t really think about that teaching position again…
…until 6 years later when I got a call from the college asking me if I wanted to be a temporary professor of social work for the next three semesters.
I couldn’t believe it. My dream job was handed to me on a silver platter…no application needed…no interview required.
The job was mine if I wanted it. I snatched it up.
And I loved teaching…loved the students…loved academia.
But even more so…I LOVED the money and knowing exactly how much I’d make each week!
I loved the 401(K) and the dental and vision insurance…things I hadn’t enjoyed over the past 6 years of being self-employed.
I became dependent on those benefits and I didn’t want to lose them…ever.
I started plotting and planning for how I could turn that temporary position into a permanent gig so I could keep all that money…and benefits…forever.
I became obsessed with doing whatever it took for that kind of financial stability…
…I even applied to a doctorate program and planned to invest $30,000 (and 3 years of my life studying) so I would have the credentials to get a permanent position as a professor.
While I was giving my all in exchange for financial predictability…I wasn’t nurturing my online business.
It was put to the side…collecting dust.
I missed it. I started thinking about all the plans I had for growing my business…and helping entrepreneurs love their money…and how I wanted to change women’s lives for the better.
And I started getting frustrated with the bureaucratic bullsh*t that comes with working in a large organization…
…and I started remembering why I became my own boss in the first place.
This led to some deep soul searching…and I realized the co-dependent relationship I’d created with money.
It wasn’t healthy…and it was driving me to make decisions that didn’t make me feel happy.
I had to choose.
Did I want to devote my time and energy to becoming a tenure track professor…get the steady paycheck and full benefits…but deal with red tape and corporate crap?
Or did I want to devote my time and energy to growing my online business…navigate the ups and downs of variable pay…but do the work I love and make a greater impact in the world?
I’m here with you now, so you know what I chose. 🙂
But it wasn’t an easy decision.
The money and benefits in that other job were VERY tempting…and I almost got caught up in it.
But I knew that if my money love affair was going to last, the relationship had to be mutually beneficial…
Are YOU in a co-dependent relationship with money?
:: Do you find yourself dragging your butt to a corporate job you HATE…giving away your precious time and energy just to keep the steady paycheck and benefits?
:: Are you constantly hustling and grinding…working harder and harder…giving more and more to customers just to prove you’re worthy of the rates your trying to charge?
:: Are you taking on nightmare clients who make constant demands but still aren’t satisfied because you feel desperate for cash?
Whenever you’re relying on your money to meet all your psychological, emotional and physical needs (ie. make you blissfully happy all the time)…
…or you’re devoting all your time and energy to making money in ways that aren’t fulfilling (ie. sacrifice your entrepreneurial dreams for a steady paycheck)…
…you’re in a co-dependent relationship with money.
Not quite sure if your money relationship is co-dependent?
Or ready to turn that co-dependency into a (healthy) love affair?
Come join the Date Your Money Facebook Group where I dish on how to love up on your money so it will love you back.