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Maybe it’s because I’m a psychotherapist who loves to get a glimpse into people’s minds to see what makes them tick…or maybe it’s because I have a weird fascination with psychopaths and weirdoes.
One of my favorite psycho-dramas is Fight Club. What’s not to love about a materialistic insomniac who starts a secret underground club (with very strict rules) for men who want to spice up their mundane lives by fighting each other?
Before the main character in the film (who remains nameless throughout) starts Fight Club, he spends his days in a mundane job he hates and his nights shopping for home furnishings to make the perfect apartment.
He spends a ton of money buying a ton of stuff (hello, retail therapy)…but he’s still depressed and bored. Then he meets Tyler Durden (who we later find out is the main character’s alter ego) and when they team up to start Fight Club, there’s all sorts of action in his life.
But he can’t talk about it…to anyone…because the first rule of Fight Club is, “Don’t talk about Fight Club”.
All the guys in the club show up to work with black eyes and battle scars…but no one would ever dare tell the truth about how they got them. They all made up stories to keep Fight Club a big ol’ secret…
…which is what I used to do with money.
…to anyone…for any reason.
My money matters were a big ol’ secret…
…and I had BIG money problems. I was fighting with my money on the regular just like those bros fought each other in their underground club.
I’d throw a punch at my money by spending it on materialistic crap instead of paying off my credit card…
…my money would retaliate by ghosting when I got a huge car repair bill…like a punch to the gut.
Just like in Fight Club, I’d show up in my life with financial bruises and scars from my fights with money.
And I’d find myself coming up with all sorts of stories and lies instead of fessing up to what was REALLY going on financially.
People would ask me how my business was going…I’d lie and say it was great…so I wouldn’t have to face the guilt and shame of admitting my business was losing money everyday.
I kept my money fights a secret from my husband too…so he wouldn’t freak out about me not being able to pay us anything that month.
But as a couple’s therapist, I know that secret keeping poses as the greatest risk for infidelity in a relationship. Secrets and lies create a slippery slope that can lead to bad decisions…decisions that have the potential to destroy the relationship.
I realized that not talking honestly about money was like playing with fire…and the moment I made that discovery was just like the moment in the movie when the main character realizes he has dissociative identify disorder…
I felt like the world was swirling around me and all my money memories flashed before my eyes…
…it was shocking…and scary.
So, I stopped fighting my money and started “dating” it instead.
I made time to love up on my money so it would love me back. I made it a priority in my life by scheduling “money dates”where we could cuddle, connect and start a steamy love affair.
So, I started talking about money…to everyone…all the time. I got honest about my money problems…with myself…my husband…and my friends.
Turns out they were having their own fights with money…showing up in life with bruises and scars and not telling anyone the truth about how they got them.
Which is why I’m now on a mission to help entrepreneurs deepen their relationship with money, earn their worth and manage money like a boss…and break the first rule of Fight Club by talking about their money.
When I got real and honest…when I loved up on my money…it started coming around more…and staying around longer.
In fact, my money loved me back so much that my revenue increased x 5 in 8 months and I paid of $87,000 of debt in two years…
Ready to end the fight with your money and start a love affair with it instead?
Download my Free Date Your Money Planner to get started making time for loving up on money so it will love you back.