28 Apr Love changes you
The person I was before I met my husband 11 years ago no longer exists.
She’s been replaced by a kinder, gentler, more compassionate version of myself.
The woman who cared most about work…and achievement…and recognition slowly started to fade away when my daughters were born…
…and now I’m someone who values playfulness, relaxation, and quality time above all else.
When we fall in love, we’re completely unaware of the personal transformations that will take place because of it.
We might even falsely assume that love will change to fit around our ideals and personal preferences…but it’s really the other way around.
I know that when I started “dating my money” 5 years ago and really began investing in my relationship with money, I figured my financial situation would change for the better…
…but I had no idea how much I would change for the better too.
I used to be someone that was all about work and no play. I didn’t give time to activities that didn’t produce income.
I was consumed by work- always focused on growing my business into something great (and highly profitable).
I was obsessed with becoming as successful as all the other entrepreneurs I saw online and tried to do all the things they were doing…so I too could build a million dollar business…
…while working only 25 hours a week…while touring around Italy.
I got so frustrated when I’d do YouTube videos, email marketing funnels, Facebook Lives, and Instastories and no one would show up or engage…
…and no one would buy.
“How the hell are these other entrepreneurs doing it? I’m doing everything they tell me to…killing myself in the process…and still not getting their results!”, I whined to myself.
My sense of failure added more pressure to perform…produce…and PROFIT.
I used to believe that the only way to prove myself successful was to make a lot of money.
But then love changed all that.
When I started having money dates where I set aside and hour or so every week to get to know my money…and see where it was going…and what it’d been up to that week…
…I discovered that I was the problem…not my money.
I was making money in my business…I just wasn’t appreciating it because I was demanding more…and I was expecting my money to prove I was successful…
…and that wasn’t my money’s job.
Seeing how my attitude, mindset, and behaviors were the problem wasn’t fun or pleasant…
…but I’d been through this same thing in my marriage.
As Tom and I would have disagreements or face relationship challenges, I’d usually walk away with a note to myself about how I could do better and be a better partner to him.
Like, instead of getting pissy and slamming dishes around in the kitchen because he forgot to unload the dishwasher AGAIN…
…I could gently remind him about it…and save us both a fight.
Once I started spending quality time with my money, I fell in love with it (and what it added to my life)…
…and that love helped me to see how I could do better and be a better partner to my money.
A lot has changed as a result of that love.
I no longer want a million dollar business because I don’t want to work that damn hard.
I want a small business that allows me to end my workday at 3:30 pm so I can be fully present for my kids after school…
…and a business that lets me have close, personal relationships with my clients…
…and frees me up to take a fitness class on Tuesdays at 9 am…
…while making enough money to pay for 3 vacations a year.
I no longer try to do #allthethings in my business.
I do the things I love…the stuff that lights me up and builds connections with other people I admire…
…like writing blog posts and being a guest on awesome podcasts and working on and in my MONEY THERAPY program.
But one of the greatest things that has changed for me as a result of loving my money is that I am at peace now.
:: I pay attention to my money but I don’t worry about it.
:: I set intentions for my business but I don’t stress over reaching goals.
:: I work hard during certain hours and play hard during others.
:: I devote my energy to becoming the best version of myself instead of becoming like everybody else.
:: I only spend money on the things I value and don’t spend money on the things everyone else buys.
:: I take a lot of time for self care and to spend time with people I love without feeling guilty about doing things that don’t make money.
Because of all these inner changes, I feel a deep sense of peace and contentment most days.
Sure, there are times I feel stressed out, worried, and frantically trying to get things done…
…but I take those feelings as a sign that I need to recalibrate and let love change me some more.
Here’s my point: When you make the decision to “date your money” and work on your money relationship, you’re going to do it with the soul purpose of improving your financial life.
Your finances absolutely will transform when you make your money a priority and spend time with it.
But YOU will also transform…in ways you can’t even imagine…
…and your entire life will get better as a result…
…because love changes you.
If you’re ready to change your relationship with money…change yourself…and change your life for the better…
…let’s have a chat together about how to get started.
Shoot me a little email and we’ll talk about how to add some money love into your life!