17 Mar How to Protect Your Money Relationship
Go ahead and update your relationship status as “it’s complicated”.
No one said the money relationship was going to be easy…
…and perhaps you and your money have been on the outs lately…
…and there’s been more than one night where you found yourself sleeping on the couch (or laying there awake worrying about your money).
Some bad habits have formed…like smack talking your money…splurging on shiny objects…and chasing paper for all the wrong reasons.
But you love your money and you want this relationship to work!
And that calls for some vigilance in protecting it from the potential threats that could completely derail this love affair.
Take this as an example of what I mean:
When Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie co-starred in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, a serious threat popped up for Jennifer Aniston.
Jen wanted to stay focused on her career…Brad wanted to start a family…they weren’t seeing eye to eye.
Then in walks Angelina in all her sexy, full-lipped glory…right into a sex scene with Brad.
Disaster was written all over it! Jen didn’t have a chance! Angelina promised Brad to bare his children and the rest was history!
Had the relationship between Brad and Jen been super tight, maybe the outcome would have been different.
But when a relationship is struggling…and a potential threat comes along…it’s damn near impossible to protect it from catastrophe.
MONEY TRUTH: You have to PROACTIVELY be on the look out for potential threats to your money relationship and head them off fast.
You don’t want your money relationship to come to a screeching halt…or to lose your money to someone else.
You gotta safeguard your money relationship from these common threats:
Anytime you blow your spending plan by splurging on random things you didn’t budget for, you’re cheating on your money.
Consumerism (the belief that more is better) and neuromarketing (compelling advertisements that your brain just can’t resist) actively manipulate your buying habits.
Consumerism and neuromarketing are the Angelina Jolie’s to your money relationship!
They lure you…tempt you…promise to make you feel OH SO GOOD…
…but if you give in to their seduction, the infidelity will destroy the relationship with your money.
Blaming your money for all your problems and expecting it to fix things for you creates negative feelings toward your money that undermine the relationship…like anger…fear…resentment…and even hatred.
Pointing fingers at YOURSELF and labeling yourself as a terrible partner to your money…or financially irresponsible…or bad with money does your relationship no good either.
There doesn’t need to be a “bad guy” in the situation…
…but if you’re spending a lot of time and energy trying to figure out who’s to blame…your inviting this potential threat to take over your love affair with money and crush it.
Keeping Up with the Jones’
Chronically comparing yourself to others…trying to keep up with the entrepreneurs you aspire to be like…
…dropping money on pricey tech software and all the systems you’re told you need by other six-figure business owners…
…and spending a boatload of money to make your business look fancy and flashy is a HUGE threat to your money relationship.
You and your money have plans with each other that are more important than impressing people and looking like you’re rich.
Be careful to protect your long term financial goals from the impulses to be “like everybody else”.
Secrets and Lies
When things with your money aren’t going great, you might be tempted to leave out some details…or stretch the truth…or tell a little white lie.
When someone asks how your business is going (especially your romantic partner), it can be painful to tell the truth that you’re not making the kind of money you want yet or that you’re drowning in debt.
But trust me…it’s way less painful to be honest than it is to undo the damage that’s caused by deceit and lies.
Your partner will find out the truth eventually and dishonesty will cause your partner to feel like you’re not reliable or consistent…
…to start fearing that you may take advantage of them…
…or that you’re lying about other things too…
…and that could start a vicious cycle of your partner trying to control every money move you make.
You and your money are bound to have disagreements. You might be saying your earned interest in your investment account should be 12% while your money is saying it can only be 8% right now.
In instances of conflict, fighting isn’t necessarily a bad thing…it’s just a form of communication (and communication is a good thing).
But you have to fight FAIR with your money.
No name calling. No blaming. No cheating on your money to make yourself feel better about the fight. No impulsive craziness like withdrawing all the funds in your portfolio because the market is down that day.
Same goes for the fights you have with your romantic partner about money.
It’s great to air your financial concerns with each other, but it needs to be done in a calm, respectful and thoughtful way…
…not an angry, accusational, go-for-the-jugular way.
If you want your money relationship to last a lifetime, you have to guard it with your life.
Not in the possessive, hoarding all your money sort of way…
…but in the proactive, take-good-care of your money sort of way.
Comment below and share which one of these threats is impacting your money relationship right now and what you’ll do to protect it.